dimple
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Married Adopter
Posts: 36 
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Post by dimple on Dec 17, 2013 21:34:10 GMT
We now have an intro plan. How exciting is that. It has been really well put together taking account of our children and our LO's needs. We meet our LO on the 2nd of Jan. It has two possible placement days, either the 10th or the 13th depending on how all the children, but LO in particular, are coping. Very pleased too as foster carer was suggesting a 14 day intro period and LO's social worker was seriously considering this. Our SW is very experienced and put a very good case forward to reduce this. I quite understand the foster carer knows LO best and wants the best for him, but 14 days of travelling and balancing the needs of all children was daunting to say the least. So far we have been really pleased with the FC, she is very experienced, sends us lots of videos and pics and wanted to visit us so she knew where LO is coming to. I think and hope she will be a big support during the intros. So very excited, very tired (and thats not going to improve  ) and ready for Christmas and then a fabulous New Year. |
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Post by moo on Dec 18, 2013 7:06:26 GMT
Great news dimple.... Such exciting times for you all....
Do read some of our wonderful intro diary's for a few tips.... Soo tiring is my memory... With you're l/o too it will really hit you.... It is such a shock when you are in it.... Really build yourself up echinacea is a real must....
If you get to bring l/o home to your house mid way thro that will be a help keep you less tired ( able to flop on sofa with cups of tea etc )
Such wonderful timing you will have such an amazing Christmas.... Chance to prepare the children for the wondrous start of 2014....
Can't wait to read your intro diary.... Hope you get time to post us a bit.... We Love Intro Diary's!!!!
Good Luck......
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by loadsofbubs on Dec 18, 2013 7:58:01 GMT
your social worker will be very experienced at moving a number of different children. the foster carer and the childs social know this particular child better than your sw will, so if they are both saying 14 days then it may well be that 14 is what this little one needs, based on what they already know about this child. and from my perspective, having just moved a little one far too fast for him, but at the speed that sw's and adoptive parents wanted, having had my views of the child needs ignored completely, I do now know that little one was significantly more traumatised by the experience of moving (and of the introductions themselves) than my other adopted babies have been. I know its hard to juggle the needs of more than one child, and that was part of the reason given to move this little one on as fast as they did but ultimately neither the sibling nor the child benefitted from things going quicker than originally planned, (and quicker than I was advising as well), indeed, both were left reeling. and yes, they will recover eventually, but for the sake of an extra day or two of intros the level of trauma experienced by 'my' little one (and probably by the sibling too) was not worth it, (in my opinion, which was ignored anyway!).
having said that all bar this last little one have had 14 days of intros planned but only one has needed that. is always best to plan for more than needed and to reduce during intros rather than to reduce it before intros and then find the child needs longer, becoz in that scenario there is going to be disappointment for those involved.
anyway, have a great Christmas, though appreciate its going to be frustrating when you are so near and yet still so far from having little one home. and really hope the intros go smoothly for you all.
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dimple
New Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 36
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Post by dimple on Dec 18, 2013 8:33:43 GMT
Thank for your replys. If it does require longer we are happy with that, the original plan didn't allow any flexibility to shorten the intros if required. LO's SW hasn't moved many children so is very much being guiding by FC which I dont have a problem with at all. I get the impression the FC tries to build in plenty of time to ensure things aren't rushed and the planning does take account of this, but didn't allow any flexibility if all was going well. The review meeting has been moved to give the flexibility. But it will be what it will be, and it all depends on how LO copes. Fortunately he is in a busy foster care setting so it won't be too big an adjustment moving to a house with three siblings. But even so, just about everything else changes, massive changes ahead for LO.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2013 8:51:56 GMT
Good that you are being so pragmatic Dimple. You are right flexibility is key and also as you are already an experienced Mum, you will know when LO is feeling comfortable enough.
How old are your BC? Will they be there for all of the intro's or just part of them? Some people going through intro's recently, brought Grand parents along to look after the older kids, is there any chance you can do that as it frees you up a bit to be able to concentrate on LO?
I suppose FC may be worrying that with 3 BC's, LO might be handled a bit too much and passed around between too many people too quickly IYSWIM, as he will be meeting with, and living with 5 new people all at once, as opposed to maybe just one or two if it is someones first child.
All things to take into consideration I suppose.
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) and ready for Christmas and then a fabulous New Year. 
